Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Dwellings

Holy crap! I didn't think that you guys were going to be that anxious to see where my thoughts were dwelling the other night. I have to apologize for taking so long to post.

I'm not actually posting on what all I was thinking about... I don't think that there was a truly original thought in any of the versions that I wrote up. Maybe original in the way that they were slopped together, but... Anyway, this is the Reader's Digest condensed form.

A friend of mine was killed in an accident the other night. Now, I'm definitely not happy that she's gone, but I am happy that she went out doing something that she loved dearly, while being with someone whose company she really enjoyed. Not counting the fact that she's gone, I wish the end hadn't had been so damn violent. Of course, then she may have suffered. Sounds as if she were dead instantly.

I spent Monday thinking about life, in general, and mine specifically. At the time that I posted "Time Out," I wasn't dwelling on the sadness anymore. But it did hit in waves. I was up 'til too late trying to write about it, and realizing that it wasn't going to work. Mostly, I was thinking about changes that I need to make in my life. Nothing drastic, but little things can turn out to be drastic.

Many of us get complacent in our lives. "I can always take care of that later," we say. I start thinking, and I realize that I am one of the most complacent SOBs that I know. I put off little things that I don't think will matter, and, if I would take care of them eventually, they don't. But if you always push them back, things tend to pile up, and before you know it, you're buried as they all come down. An easy fix, I just have to make myself aware of my dodging or putting off the small things.

As I was thinking about all of this, I came up with a long list. But as I was writing it all down, it began to sound like a friggin' sermon. I'm not going to preach to anyone. First of all, I have no room to talk. Secondly, and probably most important, you are all big kids. You can make your own decisions without some drunk guy slobberin' his views all over your shoulder. If you can't... well, that's just sad!

I guess the point of all the rambling was simply this: Death may be the end of a life, but if you view it properly, it can be the beginning of yours. It just depends on what you take from it.

R.I.P. Tamara, and thank you.