Why Me?

"Remember when..."
"I swear to God...."
"HaHAW, HaHAW, HaHAW!"
"Remember when..."
"I swear to God...."
"HaHAW, HaHAW, HaHAW!"
"Remember when..."
"I swear to God...."
"HaHAW, HaHAW, HaHAW!"

Why is it that the tards are only out in full force when I'm in a pissy mood? My cheer for the evening was imagining the conversation sounding like this:

"Remember when that one guy got pissed at you, grabbed you by your ankles, and started beating you against the walls and bar? HaHAW!"

"Shyeah, I swear to God that he almost killed me!"

"And remember when he ripped your arm off, and beat the everloving piss out of us? HaHaw!"

"Shyeah... but I swear to God it wasn't funny."