The Leap

I used to have dreams as a youngster, where I could see almost all of our farm from a birdseye view. Had it for years, and then told my ma about it. Come to find out, when I was three, I climbed the silo all the way to the top, and stood in the little crow's nest checkin' the place out. About the time my dad started to climb up, I decided it was time to come down, so I made my way, yelling at my father to "get out of the way, Daddy, I'm coming down!" When I reached arms' level, I was yanked off of the silo, and my little bottom blistered. I never had a problem remembering the spankin', but I did forget what had brought it on!

As I got older, I never feared going places that I probably shouldn't, jumping off of things that I knew I shouldn't... no fears, no worries. Except about getting my ass beat. But the unknown was a fun thing.

Even as an adult I was that way. Part of why I joined the Marines at 24. Something I wanted to do, and I wanted to do it now. Times at my job had slowed down, so I wasn't too worried about that, I just wanted to be a part of the Corps.

My whole life, I've never truly feared the unknown... it may have made me nervous at times, but I was never scared.

So why, now that my situation is the same as walking the plank, but within swimming distance of land, am I afraid to take the jump? Weird how things change.