45 minutes in Hell

"My cat is so cute...." "Yeah, mine is, too!" "They just make you smile..." "People say they're stupid animals, but they are very smart!" "My cat brings me 'gifts.'" "My cat brought food to a litter of kittens that wasn't even hers." "My cat found a mouse."

Duh. Too bad all of my silverware has been removed. "My cat.... my cat... my cat...."

Jeebus, make it stop! "My cat has formulated a cure for cancer." "Wow, mine has a plan for world peace!"

Kill me now.