Crawling

Last night, we started off with a sort of mini-meet. Contagion, Anathematized, Tammi, and introducing Ktreva, Contagion's wife. I was very glad to meet her, and she was a blast to talk with... if you could ever manage to talk over the "shy" one.

Tammi went to work right away trying to pick up one of the locals even though I tried to warn her. Actually, I probably seemed like a dick, because I've talked with the dude before, and while he's strange, he's not bad to talk to for a couple of seconds. But he has a tendency to fall in love with whatever woman makes eye contact with him. So I yelled, "Don't do it," and even HE heard me. Tammi just waved me off and said something about ruining it for her. Okay, not really. But he did hear me.

Had a great dinner, great conversation with great people, even Contagion, and a couple of drinks. Did a couple of shots of Jameson, with Contagion in between our three drinks, getting him to finally open up and start talking. Then he had to call Bou, who we found out was ten sheets to the wind. That was the report, I'm not making it up.

Anathematized was trying to tell me about setting up my new blog and trying to answer questions, but I tell you... being a techno tard, what made sense last night, has just faded today. Heheh... at least she got to talk to me!

One of the locals (Fritz's daughter) thought I should entertain the rest of the group, so we "arranged" to have her pull my chair out from under me as I tried to sit down. It was a smashing success, and a good laugh was had by all. Once again, I had to save the day!

I also had to defend my drink of choice for the evening. Gin and tonic. I've never liked the stuff until my visit to Eric's, where I discovered that once mixed with tonic, the evergreen flavor is almost gone. It's light, refreshing, and if you should happen to ralph it up, you can save it and scrub floors!

Finally made it home, where ironically, I had a couple of Riggwelters. (You have to scroll down a little to find the description.) A delicious, dark, Yorkshire ale. I say ironically, because of the name. Riggwelter: from the Old Norse; rygg - back, and velte - to overturn. When a sheep is on it's back and cannot get up without help, local dales dialect says it's rigged, or riggwelted. Of course, on this side of the pond, one would say that it is Harveyed. But I'm drifting.

As I mentioned in the post below, I ended up falling out of my chair while trying to type and read. Wish I could see some video of me... I know I was laughing my ass off over some of my comments. Which today look stupid as hell. Fairly usual, I might say. Anyway, got laughing so hard, I hit the floor. However, I was able to regain an upright position without any help.

Today, I have to tell you that I feel cheated. For I have not a bit of a hangover. All that work, and no suffering... how lucky can I get!

It was a great time, and I'm looking forward to the next one!

Morning

It's seven thirty... time to rise and shine. Or in my case, go back to bed. Not hurting... yet. I do feel as if I were using a coniferous branch to brush my teeth, though.

The blogcrawl thingie seems to have worked out fairly decently. Although, I never made it all the way through my blogroll, and I really wanted to. Fell out of my rickety frickin' chair, took that as a sign, and hit the hay. That was gettin' a bit late... not as late as Sissy, Morrigan, Napster, and Spurs. Or even Bloodspite. But pretty damned close.

Gin

Blame Eric for this stupidity. 130 d9lloats worth of gin an tibucs,,, gegegeg,,,

He amy be a bro, but h'es the dude who talked me into trinkin gin.... christmast treee squwwwzuings.

Time 3:30... It begins

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whosever is deceived thereby is not wise."

Proverbs 20:1

Heheh... screw it. I'm getting a head start. Let the wisdom flow!

The Challenge

Mark at Witnit has this week's 25 Word Challenge up.

Go play.

Today...

4 o'clock. Fritz's Wooden Nickel, Stillman Valley, Il.

I shall be there wearing the Blackfive shirt, prepping for the Blogcrawl. 'Course, if you are looking to off me, I'll actually be the guy next to the one in the B5 shirt.

Nature's Best

Driving home this evening, I passed through an area that is teeming with deer. I wasn't to be disappointed. As I pulled over a rise, I saw two small figures in the road. At first glance, I thought that they may be coyotes. But as I approached, I saw that they were fawns. Cute little buggers.

One thing I love about hunting, is that you get to watch nature up close. If you're still, wildlife will either not notice you, or ignore you. I love to see the deer especially.

If I had been on foot, there is no way on earth that I could have gotten close enough to enjoy the little ones. In the car, they just watch as you get closer, until they try to bolt.

Another thing I love is fresh venison backstraps.

Backfire

You may have been wondering what my "Just Checking Something Out" post was all about. Though I'm sure most of you have figured it out, it was a response to this post from Harvey.

In it, he says:

"With a well thought out post, you may raise responses in your readers' heads, but then you cover those points, so there's nothing left to say but "nice post", which is too lame to leave as a comment.

With a two-line throwaway, the responses aren't addressed, so your readers leave them as comments.

The less YOU say, the more you leave for your readers to say."

I figured "bullshit." I'll give you the absolute minimum, and see where you go from there. I didn't expect to get this many comments. It is less than Harvey, but then you start to figuring; as of this moment, he's got 13 comments off of his post, and I've got 10. He gets around 530 hits a day, and I average around 90-95. So that means that Harvey got about 2.5% of his visitors to leave a comment, whereas I had roughly 10.5% of mine leaving comments.

So this actually does prove him correct, as my ratio of comments to visitors on stupid posts far surpassed his. However, I think it has nothing to do with this at all. My readers like me a hell of a lot more than Harvey's like him. And I think Harvey's number of stupid posts far surpasses mine. Heheh.....

Seriously, I think it's pretty true as to the well written posts. Example (one of many): Teresa of Technicalities. Always has well written posts, yet hardly any comments. I sometimes wonder why, but then I realize that I myself haven't left a comment. Hardly seems fair for someone to work so hard, and get no acknowledgement.

Oh, well. I won't complain. As long as you all have fun reading my inane posts, and others' comments, things are cool. It's all about the fun!

Whoa

I'm pretty sure that someone inserted a railroad spike into the base of my skull, then drove it towards my forehead. It's causing profuse sweating, pulsating pain, and a sensation of eating cotton. Going back to bed.

Can't wait for the Blogcrawl Saturday. Must stock up on pedialyte.

Just Checking Something Out

Beer...

Another Birthday!

Now that Bou's gone and spilled the beans first, I think I can announce that today is Tammi's Birthday without getting into to much trouble.

Hope you have a great one, Tammi!

Now go on over and wish her a happy birthday!

Nosy Meme

Got hit with another meme. This one wants folks to list what's on their night stand. Keep in mind a couple of things: I'm a bachelor, and this is an open nightstand.

lamp, qty: one
small fan, qty: one
Western skinning knife, qty: one
Legler hunting knife, qty: one
free drink chips, qty: three
change, qty: roughly four American dollars
wedding invitation, qty: one
carved ebony elephant figurine, qty: one
empty Erdinger bottle, qty: one
"Lost Battalions," by Franz Steidl
"William Wallace," by D. J. Gray
"Song of Susannah," by Stephen King
"Mathematics for the Million"
"The Journals of Eleanor Druse," by "Eleanor Druse"
"Sackett's Land," by Louis L'Amour
"Kilkenny," by Louis L'Amour
jar of silver dollars and half dollars, qty: ?

If I were to own a gun or few, I might say that any attempts to snoop around my nightstand may result in a S&W 6906 or SW9V being discharged in your direction. However, I wouldn't keep them on the nightstand...again, that's to say if I owned one. This is Illinois, America's Cuba.

I was going to pass it on, but I see it's already taking off. So if you want to do it, either do it in the comments, or let me know when you've done it on your blog, and I'll link to ya.

Quick Post

Not much time to post, but I've gotta say, going through some of the headlines today had me busting up. Some were because of the picture I formed after reading it, and a couple were just the headline itself. Here's a couple, maybe a few.

Rabid Kitten Found, 19 People Treated: I've told you, cats are evil... even those "cute" little kittens.

Goose Poop and What to Do About It: Headline only. Nothing said about free Christmas geese.

Kenyan Waits For Bill Clinton's Answer On An Offer of 40 goats, 20 Cows To Marry Daughter: I'm wonderin' if Willie hasn't responded because he thought the offer was for Chelsea to marry the animals. Dowry, Bill. Not a sex farm.

And speaking of farms; Cows Put In A Bubble To Measure Emissions: Bet you can't guess which state this is in.

ANOTHER ONE: OJ Simpson Slammed For Sattellite TV Swiping: I'm not sure why they make a big deal out of this... as long as he's busy doing petty things like this, he's not killing anyone.

Raging Mom

Read this post yesterday, and while I agree with her, I couldn't help but grin. She had some incredibly nice things to say about Fonda, Jane.

Raging Mom, of The Splatter Zone... it fits. Check her out.

It's All About The Chair

Funny how it works... you get an idea on something to blog about, sit down at the computer, and go blank. Another great idea, potentially world changing, is gone. Never to be seen again. You suffer, and know that the world is also going to suffer from lack of your brilliance. Fortunately for them, they'll never know... at least not until someone blogs about it.

I'm thinking in my case, it's the chair. My desk chair is dead, and it knows it. However, it hasn't broken and fallen over, yet, so I try to milk another week's service from it. I may be stifling my creativity.

Over the weekend, I sat in an ambassador's chair. Immediately, ideas poured into my head, and I heard angelic hosts singing. I stood up, and they were gone. I now know how the man writes so well. The Chair.

I'm thinking I should get me a cathedra. I may have to lift it from a church, but imagine the posts that it may inspire!

When Jello Goes Bad

Sissy wants to know if jello goes bad.

Yes. Yes, it does.

Beware the bad jello.

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Cicadas' Song

When it came time to head back home Sunday morning, I was serenaded by cicadas. I don't know, but I think it was a barbershop quartet. Anyway, I've had this song from Clutch (off of The Elephant Riders) running through my head for the last couple of days. 'Specially this part:

"...ain't ever seen it, but I have heard it.
Sounds like the millstones when they are turning,
but every moment getting louder and louder,
and then there is silence,
and the smell of flowers."

Damn, I wish I could play it for you. But I am working on that.

Runnin' For The Hills

After careful consideration of all of the suggestions on how to dispose of "evidence," I realized that most of you are a little touched... and that's okay. As a matter of fact, that's very good! You are all great muses.

I had originally thought to tell you a great tale. A tale of a hypothetical blogger in need of evidence disposal, and his journey to get rid of incriminating "snapping turtle bait." His run to the Blogoshere Embassy and the Ambassador of the Blogoshere, seeking asylum. But alas, I'm not going to do it.

Instead, I'll tell you that my trip down to Eric's was a blast. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there were no knifin's, slicin's, or beatings. Not a single sippie cup. It was a very relaxing trip, and we got to visit a hell of a lot. It may or may not have been evident in my blogging, but I was in need of a vacation... short though it was.

My first day, I think I startled Eric when I called him from Knoxville. I managed to arrive somewhere around 1:30-2:00, after I napped. Hey, I'm not Superman... a man's gotta rest at least once a month. Once I got there, I promptly drained his stash of Shiner Bock. Good, good stuff. We hung out talking, and I watched as he shared the secrets of his "spaghetti sauce." Spaghetti sauce, my ass. That stuff is way too intricate to call spaghetti sauce! I'd share with you, but then I would have to off all who read this... and that's alot of miles to run. So until he offers to share, you folks are out of luck.

That evening we watched Zulu. First time ever seeing that movie, while I had heard of it. Damn good flick... seriously. I loved the defense of the poor bastards stuck at the post. I will say though, were I ever to see Jack Hawkins' character, first I would have to fight the urge to run away screaming... he died in '73. Then I would attempt to dot his frickin' eye... this character screams, "Beat the everlovin' piss out of me, because you're all going to die!" Anyway, we ended up having a discussion about the movie and tactics... cool.

Next day, we ran up to the mountains. His wife had the day off, and went with us. Damn good time, once again. A little bit of teasing and pokin' fun. Drove the Cherohala Skyway, or rather, part of it. Then we headed up to the mountains. Got chow at a little bistro on the way back, where Eric had a bowl of $8 soup... and I'll someday have a pic to prove it. Damn good soup... even if it was a variation of P-r-ogresso! (Inside joke)

One thing... Eric almost dumped me into the river. Not as if he'd pushed me, or anything like that. As you know, I have a severe opposition to snakes. I was walking down to the river, keeping my eye on the rocks, when I jumped. As I jumped, Eric says, "Watch out for snakes!" 'Course, me being a huge chicken, once I heard "snake," my imagination told me that he yelled, "Watch out for the snakes." As I landed, my legs turned to jello, and I about bit it.

Got back, and proceded to spend the hours drinking, talking, and laughing well into the next morning. A great time.

This isn't the first time I've met the man... back in March, I was privileged to meet him. But this was a great time to sit and visit.... I really didn't want to do much other than kick back, relax, and bullshit. And the man delivered.

I've got to tell you right now, it was one of the best weekends I've had in a long while. And getting to know Eric and his wife a little better was a great way to spend it. I must tell you, should you ever have a problem with the man and/or his wife, tell me immediately, and I shall promptly dot your eye. You'll be hard pressed to meet people like them.

Eric, I owe you big time... thanks again, Bro! When I get the chance to reciprocate, believe me, I will.

Return Of That 1 Guy

Well, I'm back. I've returned safely, soundly, and friggin' sweatingly. No relief all the way back... major dehydration going on right now. And yes, I blame the heat, and not the 1 or 2 gin and tonics disposed of last evening. Okay, maybe there were a couple more, but still. I blame the heat.

Was really hoping to do up a proper post tonight, letting you know how things went while I visited with the Ambassador Of the Blogosphere. But I'm fried. I want to do the man justice.

I'll try to post first thing in the morning.

Hypothetical Question #5,328

I think we've all felt the urge to throttle someone at one time or another. If opportunity offered, would you do it? And say that you chose to answer in the affirmative, how would you dispose of ... uh.... "evidence?

Again, purely hypothetical. Heheh....

Damn...

Cardinal Corey Taylor:"This is the year where hope fails you...
The test subjects run the experiments.
And the bastard you know, is the hero you hate.
But cohesing is possible if we try
Theres no reason, theres no lesson
No time like the present, tell me right now...
What have you got to lose, what have you got to lose
Except your soul...who's with us?!"


From the book of St. Joseph , chapter 6, verse 66: "Yea, I say unto thee, if a friend shall ask of thee, 'Drink, my brother, for I am in pain,' ye shall drink. And if he shall ask of you to partake in Jack's (of the family Daniels) whiskey, you shall say unto him, 'Brother, your pain is my pain, and your drink, mine.' And ye shall partake.

67: For a brother's pain is a great burden to bear alone, but is a joy unto thyself when shared. Strong drink shall increase thine wisdom, and alleviate the suffering of fools.

Sounded pretty good, huh? Well I lost it. I had a great post all worked up, and it's vanished. My sides hurt, but there's no longer anything to laugh at.

All I remember is that I was going to piss off a few, and probably draw a cult following to me with the remainder, but it is not to be. A pity too, because I'm sure most of you would have loved it, left hundreds of comments, and devoted your lives to following me.

I've got to get me one of them "talky into thingies" that save your voice.

Made Me Chuckle

Saw this gif (or whatever it's called) over at SilentWarrior's place, Ramblings of an Ordinary.

Take away the actual typing part at the beginning, and go straight to the end... you've got me. Trying to post.

Check it out.

Tired

Once, Christmas Day, I awoke to a furious pounding on the wall or door. I got up to check it out, and found nothing... nobody. After taking care of the usual proceedings following a wake up, I went back to bed.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep again, I heard a loud SNAP. I looked around without getting out of bed, and turned my back to the room. I soon heard soft footsteps moving swiftly across the room and stopping by the bed. Immediately after they stopped, I felt an ice cold hand pushing on my hip, as if trying to shake me awake. No worries there... I was wide awake. And scared to death. Being the brave soul that I am, I remained in the same position. I don't think I could have moved if I had felt the urge.

After a few seconds pause, the footsteps retreated. I strained to hear the door being used. A couple of minutes later, I got up and checked things out.

Deadbolt? Still locked.

Hip? Still cold.

Last night, I heard that same frickin' SNAP about four times. I got up right away, and still discovered nothing out of the ordinary. But I didn't turn my back on the room this time.

I wasn't scared so much as very uneasy. Hard to sleep like that.

Death of an Artist

I'm a little creeped right now. I just found out today that I have killed an artist... no, dozens of artists. And the saddest thing of all is that I meant to kill them. I just didn't realize at the time that their elegant little creations were indeed masterpieces. Unfortunately, I saw their works, and the only interpetation I came up with, was that I was supposed to be angry.

I've poisoned some, beat others, even broke a few necks when I offered food and drink to them. Perhaps the most violent death I've ever seen of an artist was when my brother got one to stick his tongue against cold metal, and then proceded to beat him to death against the studs of a structure... while still keeping control of his tongue.

Today, I wrestle with guilt. After reading this article, I realize that I am a murderer. All the uncontrollable wrath I've felt after seeing "exhibitions" on display, and the vengeance I've wreaked soon after. Not only at the farm, but here in town, too. I should probably turn myself in.

I'll probably never know what demarcates an artist from a pest. But I still believe that rodents chewing things up need to be exterminated. I've done it before, and I'll do it yet again.

Tepid...

a word that shouldn't be used in the company of "friends."

What's In Your Past Life?

Found this over at Rev. Lick's and figured I had to post it. Not so much my past life, but the results I got when I put Harvey's name in. Although, I'm pretty sure that both TNT and Contagion will have something to say about mine:

That 1 Guy was a Rich Serial Killer in a past life. Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Here was Harv's*:

Harvey was a Miserly Fecal Artist in a past life. Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

This may explain his penchant for money art, and his ability to spread bullshit.

*I may have edited it a bit.

No Time To Post

I wish I had a bit more for time. I was going to post about going to the Brewer game, and how it was a pretty good game. About the ground rule double that was hit into the seats just below us, but ended up getting flung just shy of where we were sitting.

I was going to tell you about how, upon attempting to leave Miller Park, we were diverted into Milwaukee. And how, while traffic was slowly crawling towards a work zone, we heard a roar, looked out the window to our right, and saw four of the Blue Angels whipping by... seriously. I was also going to tell you about how we got to watch some of the air show while inching towards I-43 south, quite a bit in fact.

I had been hoping to give you a quick review of Young's Old Nick, just to let you know how good it is. And to mention that you definitely won't want to drink too many in one sitting... while good, it's nice and heavy. One or two is plenty good.

I had planned on posting about how incredibly busy I was yesterday, not getting home until a shade before 11. About the adventures of moving a fifty-way too many inch TV.

I also wanted to point out that in the comments to this post of mine, about the Turbo Tap, the inventor's brother stopped by, and helped to ease some of my concerns... he even said that it will pour a perfect Guinness. Nothing said about me getting a free couple of beers to sample... heheh.... I had wanted to point out that that is precisely why I didn't rip on them, because I hadn't sampled the product. To thank Andy for stopping by, and to express my regret at being a cheap bastard, and not having the deluxe Haloscan commenting, so that I could e-mail him back.

But I haven't the time. You people will just have to wait.

Tewo More

Cancerousd birthdayws abound! Today isd Phin'x 30th birthday, and tomorro2w ias saarahk'd nexzt.

Happy Birthday, you tqwo!

Hypothetical Medical Quesdtion

Um... yet another "hypothetical" q2uewstion:

eSay that you 3were sdharpening a knife, and wehile honing the blade, you managed to make a nice incisdion through a finger... let'sd juwt sday your ring finger on your left hand. The bleeding hax sdtopped, but the finger juet saeemd to flop around a bit too much. You decide that it'ds probably a xsdmart thing to do sxdomething more... what type bandage ewould you usae? WSponge Bob, or Po32wer Rangerx? And do you week further axsisdtance?

Hypothetically, an immediate anw3der 2ould be appreciated.

Out

Beer, brats, baseball... Nationals vs. Brewers. There go I. I'll see ya when I get back.

Birthday

Hey... it's Sissy's birthday! Stop by and bug her. May as well wish her Happy Birthday while you're there, too!

Hope ya have a very Happy Birthday, Sissy!

B-Day Wishes

It's Ktreva's (the lovely wife of Contagion) birthday today. Usually a total ass, he's gone and written something very nice. Go on over, check it out, and wish her a Happy Birthday!

BTW... another birthday on the way tomorrow!

Another... belated: Yesterday was Laughing Wolf's birthday, at least according to Tammi, who gains info from little birds. Thanks for the heads up, Tammi!

Improvement?

We're all familiar with the old saying: Build a better beer tap, and the drunks will beat a path to your door.

Well, a better tap has been built by one M. Younkle.

The TurboTap, in use at Wrigley Field and two other sports stadiums, pours beer faster, better and more efficiently than traditional taps, says Younkle, whose company, Laminar Technologies Inc., is making a push to expand its markets...

The TurboTap addresses two issues: slow pour time and beer sales running down the drain as excess foam. Under the proper conditions, TurboTap can fill a glass in 2 seconds and a pitcher in 8. And it can add six extra servings and more profit per keg by controlling the foam...

Almost sounds like a good thing. But I'm not so sure.

I'd like to taste this beer. And yes, Virginia, I know it's not for just one type or brand of beer. But part of enjoying a beer comes from the foam. Sure, you don't want a huge excess, but the head (foam) adds to the flavor. The sense of taste is assisted by the sense of smell, and this foam stuff transfers the smell to you... effervescence.

Granted, I'm probably carrying on for no reason... most of the beers that will be served with these units are not my beer of choice, though I will help to control beer population of almost any type.

Damn, now I've got a craving for a pulled pint of bitter.

Blackfive: Someone You Should Know

So ya wanna know what Matty O'Blackfive is like? I've often been asked (once) what it was like to meet Blackfive, and I usually refer people to this post. I'll admit, finally, that he's not quite like that... he's not really that quiet. Oh, you've still got to prod him to get him to speak, but he ain't that shy.

For those that would like to see what he looks like, he's posted a picture of himself. He says it's "the doughboy," but if you look closely, you'll notice it's a terrible job of photo shopping. All he did was remove the tactical gear, and insert a baker's hat. Nice try.

Must Sees

Sorry these aren't more detailed, but I'm runnin' short on time.

Lady Christina's got the Latest Take Two up. The stories submitted so far, are kickass. Make sure you check them out!

Blog-niece VW has the latest installment of The Carnival Of Recipes up and running. Check these out, as well.

Fine job, both of you!

Helpin Out

Harvey has made mention of a family member in need. If you've no clue about what I'm referring to, you didn't click the link. Explanation is there.

I believe strongly in helping family in times of need. This is my effort to help.
Check it

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I tell you tonight1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkeyand in closing 1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey. Before you all leave 1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey. Goodnight.

For a copy of tonight's sermon, please send $100 dollars to:1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey 1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey 1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey 1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey1500 sheeps turkey. Goodnight, again.

Re-Awakening

Just woke up again, and surveyed the destruction.

Not bad, not bad at all. After quick examination of my "spiritually influenced" posts, I can't quite say they were good, either. I remember laughing my ass off as I typed them... but it appears that I left the true humor out.

Heh... screw it. I had fun, and that's all that counts. You guys got to see just how deep my soul really is.... Still waters run deep, they say. The surface can appear to be glass, and reflect as a mirror.

In my case, once you don your scuba gear and drop in, you discover that it actually is a mirror, and I am but a reflection of all of you. Scary, huh?

I think I may still be a bit inebriated. Just wait until the Blogcrawl on the 30^th... you may have an unsolicited overdose of my... whatever it is.

Awakening

I love when you tie a good one on, but it can hurt for awhile the next morn. The best thing is waking up still drunk. You know you've gone and done it proper.

I think you need to do this every now and again. Stirs the creative juices... and a couple of other things.

Thank gott I'm not workin' today.

A New Name

Chicken parmigiana sandwich + mozzarella sticks + Italian beef sandwich + pizza + a case of beer = Stay the hell away from T1G.

Actually, come a little closer... I've got something to share with you. A new moniker...

Call me Gaseous Clay.

Bad position...

Ain't it awkward being stuck in the middle of a lover's quarrel? I usually make a few jokes, and that seems to knock things down, but sometimes...

I just hate being put in that position... 'specially when drunk. I find myself hilarious, and they usually both want to beat the tar out of me. I think of myself as a calming force. Heheheh.....

At least I can get them to agree that I must be silenced.

Believe It Or Not, A Question

Purely hypothetical question:

Suppose you read a blog, and you see that this guy is always asking hypothetical questions. You can tell that he does this just because he's having a hard time coming up with crap to post (sometimes literally). Do you humor him, and answer, or tell him to bugger off, which may also humor him, and inspire way too many hypothetical questions?

Just Cuz

Bloodspite mentioned it first. (That I noticed.) Next, Harvey. So I know that this is making the rounds. Informative video, this is.

Why post it now? Two reasons:
1. For the millions of people (see sitemeter) that insist on reading my blog, and my blog alone.
2. The most obvious... earworm.

Juvenile Joe

I left a comment over at Éric's regarding his meeting with Bou. I said that when/if I ever get to meet her, she probably will keep the boys away. Her comments to this post, and this one, come immediately to mind. And I'm proud. So here's a quick story, just for her.

I just got back to my work area after using the resting room, and one of my co-workers walks up, looking at me with the "I'm doing so good at golf, now, that I just have to tell you great my game is getting to be" look. As he's walking up, I puffed out my chest, hiked up my pants, and before he could say anything, I told him, "I just made poop come out of my butt." Heheh.... he shook his head and said something about never knowing where the hell I come from. I think he stared at me for a full twenty seconds before he got that out.

But I didn't have to listen to a golf story!

How's This Work?

Another question, brought up after reading this:

The poll shows 32% of all adults say they believe that "ghosts/spirits of dead people can come back," while 48% do not, and 19% are unsure.

Even more Americans believe that houses can be haunted, with 37% holding that position, 46% saying no, and 16% not sure.

Uh... more people believe in hauntings than in ghosts. What's haunting these houses, if not ghosts? And don't try "spirits," either. That's still under the "ghost deal."

Which reminds me, Eric...

Cool? Or no?

Read this story about a man making money off of magnets inspired by a strange crime. Some are finding it humorous, while others are appalled. Myself, right about the time that I find it appalling, I start laughing.

What say you?

DVDs

Just out of curiosity...

Have you bought any DVDs lately?

How many of those DVDs have been purchased for your children?

Do you, in fact, only purchase DVDs for your little ones?

There was a point to this, but I can't remember what it was. Answer me, if you will, and perhaps I'll remember. The only thing I remember at this point, is Dreamworks. Something about doing not so good.

A bar discussion.

Sidebar

You may have noticed the addition of a Tube sign on my sidebar. This is courtesy of my friend Laughing Wolf. If you'd like the same, go check out this post.

Image hosted by ImageShack.

Crying Sky

This morning, as I look out my window, I see a sight that has me puzzled. There is water on the ground. It seems faintly familiar... I think it's happened before.

As I watch, I see droplets falling from the sky. So that's where it's coming from! Stevie Ray had a song that mentioned it once... I realize the sky is truly crying.

Perhaps it's mourning about the "drought" thing that everyone's talking about. Seeing the crops withering is a sad sight indeed. But if I have to mow my yard after this, it's definitely going to have something to cry about!

Update: I feel so stupid. I was informed that the sky is not crying, but indeed releasing P R E C I P I T A T I O N. Also referred to as rain. I remember hearing about this stuff once, and was beginning to think it was extinct. In parts of the world, and even in the Pacific Northwest region of this here country, there are forests of these rains.

Farmers used to say that they were hoping for rain to save the crops, but when I talked to some today, they no longer want the rain. Their crops are beyond help. Now, they want hail. How fickle.

:)

An Eternal Mystery

Womens... I love 'em. Beautiful, mysterious, and sometimes plain old terrifying. I know that I'll never have them figured out, but I love 'em nonetheless. They are pleasing to the eyes. Lovely works of art. And at times, funny as hell to watch.

I stopped into the gas station on my way to work. If one of the women that work there is behind the counter, a cool reception is a guarantee. Don't know why, it's just a fact. Two of them are there. While I'm at the counter getting rung up, I hear behind me "Hey Joe! How are you?!" I turn around, and it's one of the girls that bus tables at the bar. Good looking girl, large... uh.... (underage, underage, underage!!!). I talk with her for just a second, and when I turn around, I could feel the chill in the air.

I don't know what that was all about, but if I hadn't been chuckling at the pissed off looks, I may have been puzzled. Heheh... just found it amusing.